I wish I could teleport
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
