she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
