If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
