Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
