I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
