"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize