you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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