I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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