there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
