So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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