Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're a waste of cheezeits
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
