By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
