It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
