My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize