Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
