I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
