We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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