what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
