I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
