we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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