Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
