i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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