I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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