watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
