shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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