There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am available for nakedness
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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