even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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