I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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