...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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