I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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