Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
