there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
