put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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