If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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