Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize