TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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