I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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