why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
