Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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