at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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