he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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