that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
