Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
