Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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