i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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