you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
