his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize