I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
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