why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize