ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
