I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
