You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drunk is not a location!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
