Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need moral support for this bender
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
