I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
