The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
