I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
