the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
