I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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