I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
