Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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