dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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