hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
