Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize