we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
