I am in a vortex of obligation.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
