it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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