there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
