i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
